New Year? How about New Decade?

So, its a new year, yeah.

Not only just a new year...but another decade of human existence, problem, failure, triumph, creativity, science, technology...television...internet...etc

What will the staples of this next 10 be? What things will we look back on from 2000-2010 and remember with a "like it was yesterday" memory. What will we make fun of and regret of that decade? What will we praise?

Here we all are again, in another one, making another 10 year cycle of human culture that will be chronicled. In another ten I'll be 33, hoping I'm not out of touch with society, hoping I'm still sane.

These last few weeks have been strange. Full of all sorts of strange trial. What creative staples will be brought forth? Or will we continue to reuse from the last century? I hope a lot of things die in the opening stages of this new act.

I feel like I'm on the verge of some personally exciting prospects. Working to release my first album through NF this year. Shooting for sometime early. I feel like I'm too much of a perfectionist to even complete the task. Or rather, feel too personal about the whole thing. I'll get at it though. Just have to wrap my head around some things. Wrap my head around myself, even. Wrap my head around a lot of things. I received a new laptop from NF so this should make things a whole hell of a lot easier. Its been fun.

I'm just waiting for my story arc. When's my the climax to my tale? I feel like it'll be right before I die. I just want to reach the point where I say, "Ok, I'm fine with dying now." When I find that self actualization.

Still got a lot of life angles to figure out. Need to compromise though, gotta keep my mind in the fact that "Life's a fun thing to enjoy". Gotta stop thinking about how small my time line really is. Should be more brash, more of a "go-getter". I'll never be the first one out, y'know. I'll always be the one to lag behind at an offbeat pace. I think I've been doing pretty good. I feel like I'm doing pretty good so far. I've made all of what I have pretty much through my own passion and desire. A bit unconventional. That's the fun part, though. I was spawned in a stale and uninspired environment. The beings who carelessly created me chose to start something on this planet they could see through, couldn't finish. We all spawn from creation. Our genes in abstract and randomly generated creativity.. a successful sequence out of many possible ones using a series of genes from two other beings. We're all from the same "OS", if I can use such a lol-inducing abbreviation; from the same template. The same program. I forgot where I was going with this...Ha.


Thoughts keep me up at night. I've been running on 4-5 hours a sleep for the last week. Which has been fun. A sleepy, almost paralyzed daze. Living in your head. I keep thinking about the choices I could've made and thus, the path that I could've then been taken on. If things had not played out in precisely the exact manner that that did. Coulda'woulda'shoulda, right?...and if?

I'd probably not be here, in Chicago, loving the fact that I had to let go of myself for a moment and really "go get it". Met some interesting gents and dames here. Can't say its all been worthwhile in a social aspect. I've learned, long ago, that I can deal with out such things. Most days I feel like I can't even interact so well with most people. I don't know if that's just my personal, self-deprecating staple or not. Or if it is really an unsuccessful connective process. Either or, I don't even know if I care much. I just want to connect with some people with similar interests. Or want someone to show me something that makes me feel inspired, surprised, really. Sometime. I'm patient and all. I'll get out into the great big world eventually. Surely, and slowly, offbeat..

It sometimes takes me a while to rethink and remember, in life. Then it hits and you try to remember where you even where.


And, on a lighter, less whiny, less wanna-be insightful thinker, and less existentially twisted note:

I started and am going to try to beat Final Fantasy 9 again.

w00t I say, w00t i do say.

So great.